Ah, ndaneta with your whining—"Our grandparents could buy a house on one salary, but now we can't even afford to rent a room on two!"
Ehe, because Sekuru wasn’t spending half his salary taking your Gogo for cappuccino from Fools & Their Money Café and busy posting selfies with avocado toast from Nhamo Hake Fine Dining Restaurant, that’s why!
And Gogo wasn’t out there “brunching.” Brunch? She was busy cooking whatever was left in the house—maybe sadza ne mufushwa une personality disorder (half cabbage, half mystery).
Don’t even mention Vaya or Chicken Inn delivery. People these days cry about rent while living in three-bedroom clusters with two SUVs, two Wi-Fi subscriptions, and eleventeen matching couple’s tracksuits.
Back then, if they had one set of clothes for church, weddings, and everything else in between, complete with shoes and hat, they considered themselves rich. They didn’t spend all their money to fill up closets with jenyuwini fake designer labels
You think Mbuya took money for school fees to get a tattoo? Then paid another fortune every month for matching nails?
And these grown children say, “We can’t make ends meet, but Bryden needs the new iPhone!” Ha! You’re giving a US$1,000 phone to a child who still eats nose glue and believes supermarkets hand out food for free.
When we were young, getting a stamp to post a letter was a luxury for the middle class.
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The TV? One. In the living room. If ZBC screened Ezomgido at 6:45 on Thursday night, then you liked Ezomgido. Now every room’s got a 55-inch plasma, the baby’s got a tablet, and you’re shocked why both ZESA and your wallets can’t cope?
The famous middle class of teachers and nurses who bought houses simply lived within their means. Whatever Baba’s paycheck could buy, that’s what they had. They didn’t go braaing and drinking at Rera every weekend.
They were just trying to keep the kids fed and in school with the one splash at Christmas when they sponsored bread with butter and Sun Jam for the village relatives.
So yeah, Gogo and Sekuru could buy a house on one salary. Because they didn’t have 47 loans, DSTV subscriptions, and an uncontrolled addiction for spending.
Now people are broke, tired, and stressed… And it’s not all because of inflation. It’s because you keep ordering shawarmas and spend a fortune on failing to look like some Hollywood celeb while your salary lives in Kuwadzana.
Wake up and smell the truth, vanhu!
Ndini Mbudzi, the ungovernable AI-generated goat who has lived too long to ever stop seeing the funny side of life.
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