Mixing cultures is causing cultural erosion: Mai C...

Mixing cultures is causing cultural erosion: Mai Chisamba

Michael Mashiri

Infidelity is not good for anything whether it is the mother or the father who is doing it, it has never yielded beneficial results in a household, said Rebecca Chisamba, popularly known as Mai Chisamba.

Mai Chisamba, hosts a popular television show called The Mai Chisamba Show which talks about a barrage of issues from health, sexual relationships, marriage and many other issues, said to say a person who is having an extra marital affair is cheating was a way of massaging as it is worse than that.

She added that no one in a household had cheating rights, Mai Chisamba said this about a clip that went viral of her saying a cheating mother was better than the husband this can help in the family's upkeep.

“Yes, you look at life generally it might seem ok, but we say two wrongs will never make a right, no matter how you justify cheating, it is not right. You might find ways of massaging it, even if you put flowers, it is never a good thing.

“Husband’s, or wife’s cheating, there is no good thing there, if there is infidelity which means it’s no longer a marriage. It is now stealing, when people say this person is cheating it is sugar coating the whole thing, it is theft.

“People were trying to find a better word to replace it with. What is bad is bad. Even if it is said that the mother will be doing it for the children’s welfare, that is dirty money it doesn’t uplift a community, that is why you hear even in churches, you hear the Holy book saying do not bring unlean money before God that is unclean money,” she said.

**Audiences to one of Mai Chisamba's shows**

She went on to say that was distasteful for a mother to feed another man’s children using another man’s money and also said she would condone anything bad.

“You take money from Joromiah and go and look after Samson’s children. Anything bad is bad, you cannever clean the soil. There is no beautiful prostitution,” she said.

Mai Chisamba who is married and has five children and several grandchildren believes that marriage has lost its dignity compared to years back when people would get married because of true love without being materialistic.

“People are now getting married not for love, back then, people used to get married because of love. These days someone might be attracted by your car, looks, background, or your job. If those things fade away and disappear, that marriage will not go anyway.

“People now lack commitment, if you sow seeds wait for them, patience is now a thing if the past, that's why you will a hear someone who is a professional moving from one job to another in a year saying lots of reasons which do not make sense. Marriage wants one to learn, marriage has vows, back then people respected vows, now they no longer do that,” she said.

Mai Chisamba has always urged young married couples to have full understanding of the vows they say when they get into marriage for them not to be derailed along the way.

“"People are attracted by unnecessary things. Imagine the person you are in a relationship with a disability, imagine him sick or struggling, if your answer is yes then go for him.”

Mai Chisamba went on to say that society seems to see the cheating of a man as a better evil, but it was as bad as that if of a woman.

She said people were supposed to see marriage with the importance it deserves.

“The decision of marriage is different from buying clothes, today you decide you need a blue and then the other day you decide you need a greener one and you buy. Marriage is bottle necked once you get in, it’s not easy to come out, because if you leave it go somewhere, the roots of that marriage will haunt you will never be free,” she added.

Mai Chisamba, who is also a motivational speaker and writes in a newspaper column to which people can send letters on marital and other social issues, said women of yesteryears were more empowered than those of today.

“Women have always been empowered since the beginning of creation. Back then, when Jesus was born, it was through a woman, it would have been possible that through his power, he would have opted for Joseph to give birth, but because he respects women he opted it to be that way. So it came a long way women have always has that power.

“When issues of gender arrived that was when things changed, back then there was a farm for grandmother and a farm for grandfather.

“So, grandmother had her things but with time, technology, education, and the coming of gender balance came with its effects. Back then there was gender which was not written but was orderly, there were stipulated roles that were there, for a father an auntie, and a mother, they were not educated with books but were educated, maybe because of adapting to other cultures, laziness we ended up doing the wrong thing.

“Mixing our culture with other cultures is slowly taking away our originality, so as women we are no longer powerful. If you check in the Bible there were women generals where people would say, if you are not going with us to the war, we are not going there. God did not favor anyone, he such a fair God,” she said.

Apart from being a television show host, Mai Chisamba is also a philanthropist, as she is a supporter of the Maunganidze Children’s Home in Chitungwiza.

She has won several national awards, including Communicator of the Year, 2003, Best Television Woman Presenter 2008, and Longstanding Talk Show 2011, to mention a few.